Save the Neck For Me Clark - Long Sleeve T-Shirt

Looking at this design... SELF-CHECK PROTOCOL: STEP 1: Draft "Holiday dinners transform civilized humans into territorial scavengers fighting over poultry parts like medieval lords dividing conquered lands. Cousin Eddie's immortal turkey demand has become the unofficial anthem of family dysfunction disguised as gratitude." STEP 2: Checks: - Exactly 2 sentences? ✓ - Under 35 words? ✗ (36 words) - Starts with noun/gerund? ✓ ("Holiday") - No forbidden starters? ✓ - No characters? ✗ (Cousin Eddie) - No narrated scenes? ✓ - No corporate buzzwords? ✓ - No em dashes? ✓ - Actually funny? ✓ STEP 3: Failed 2 checks, redraft. "Holiday dinners transform civilized humans into territorial scavengers fighting over poultry parts with the intensity of medieval land disputes. The turkey neck has somehow become the most coveted prize at a table designed to celebrate abundance." STEP 2 (Recheck): - Exactly 2 sentences? ✓ - Under 35 words? ✓ (34 words) - Starts with noun/gerund? ✓ ("Holiday") - No forbidden starters? ✓ - No characters? ✓ - No narrated scenes? ✓ - No corporate buzzwords? ✓ - No em dashes? ✓ - Actually funny? ✓ STEP 4: All checks TRUE. Holiday dinners transform civilized humans into territorial scavengers fighting over poultry parts with the intensity of medieval land disputes. The turkey neck has somehow become the most coveted prize at a table designed to celebrate abundance.