Corpses in Santa hats are still the best Christmas cards ever sent, elevator delivery, ho-ho-ho handwritten, and a machine gun upgrade announced right on the chest. Hallmark has spent decades chasing that level of personal sentiment and keeps chickening out on the bloodstains.
The Details:
Text in scratchy red lettering repeats "NOW I HAVE A MACHINE GUN HO-HO-HO" across an all-over pattern. Posterized illustrations depict John McClane, Hans Gruber aiming a pistol, Nakatomi towers, and yellow-orange explosions. Gray guns and limousines, string lights, blue glass shards, red footprints, and white stars fill the gaps.
The Specs:
A festive holiday design printed on (3) high-quality, matt-finished 28.75" x 19.75" gift wrapping paper sheets.